What about me?

Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2014 by Khukei

Everyday is a siege to my heart. People bombard me with cruel words and scorn. And all I can do is ignore them because I was raised better. What’s even worse is that I have to forgive them because I follow Jesus. I have to forgive because I’m the one who understands the situation. But they follow Jesus, too. Why can’t they live out what they read on the bible? Why does it always have to be me?
Why can’t I fight back? Why do I get so much judgement for the few times I defend myself? What about those who follow Jesus but still hurt others? What’s going to happen to them?

Isn’t life convenient for bullies? They hurt you and then you have to forgive them. You do all the heavy stuff. Because they don’t know what they’re doing and unfortunately, you do.
At the end of the day, when they say sorry, you have no choice but to forgive because that’s how things go. If you don’t forgive karma will get back at you. Once he has your forgiveness the oppressor is off the hook.
But what about me? What about my wounded heart?

Despair

Posted in Uncategorized on February 13, 2014 by Khukei

We only remember God and prayer during calamities. We are quick to write long prayers on our timelines during storms but won’t even lead prayer in class on a good day. We show kindness only when there’s an audience. We post pious photos on facebook about how we’re such devout Christians because we choose Jesus, but we also choose to cheat on exams rather than study. We preach about love but we judge and make fun of other people. We are eager to pray for the minor misfortunes of celebrities but completely ignore the poor and needy people that we see everyday. We are “open-minded” until someone with a different worldview decides to share about his thoughts like we all do. I often find myself wishing for Jesus to come and judge us all so that we could finally stop defiling the earth. 

I was once very passionate about doing what I can to make the world a better place. I know better now: there is no hope, there is no cure, and there is no future. The earth is plagued with mean and stupid people, and although there is still some good left, we’re overwhelmed and outnumbered.  We humans are the cancer of this world and our extinction will be the remedy that it needs.

We don’t deserve to live. We are unworthy of God’s salvation. Look at the world through your own eyes and you will realize that we are nearing our bitter and well-deservd end. 

 

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